The Edge Of Madness

So I was kinda of looking into donating my sperm. Not in any random way, but for women to conceive with. Not via sex, but via a turkey baster.

Ran into a few moral/laziness/sex starvation issues, which I will now discuss here.

Firstly, Lana has no issues with me donating. She likes the idea of little Brad's running around (yes, I know that means she might be getting clucky, but that's an issue for another day).

We'll start with ethics.

Laws in England are as follows. If you donate you can't be hit up for child support. You don't appear on the birth certificate. That's cool. It isn't anonymous though.

When the kid hits 18, they can get hold of your details. Just a name and last known address. So the ease of them finding me is rather high, since they can just whack in "Brad Jayakody" into google and find this blog. Granted after reading it, the liklihood of them wanting to meet me will probably go down a lot. And since I'll be back on the farm in Australia (if you're lucky I'll post about that tomorrow), going to be hard work to find me.

But on the donor side, they can let you know if you ask, how many kids have been conceived using your sperm, how many kids are born, and the sex of each kid. After you've fathered 10 kids, you're sperm is retired from the available sperm(though this seems stupid, if your sperm is being used so much, it should be deemed as MVS(Most Valuable Sperm) and used more, but maybe they are worried about a sister and a brother hooking up and not knowing their biological father is the same if there are two many kids born of the same sperm in the same area), and you ain't allowed to donate again.

I have an addictive personality. When I post on reddit, I'm checking my karma score every 15 minutes. When I first bought stock, every 15 minutes checking how it's doing. I'll be checking how many kids my boys have fathered every 15 minutes for a rather long time.

On the flip side, if no-one is using my sperm that's going to start freaking me out. What's wrong with me? Anyone should be glad to be using my sperm. I know I would, my paper stats are fairly impressive (as long as I don't have to put my weight down, or my eyesight, or my addictive personality, or about my bung shoulder, okay maybe my stats aren't that impressive, but come on, compared to the people who donate sperm, it's gotta be good, right?)

And once the kid is born, would I be able to rest without knowing what the frig is going on over there? Who knows. Prob bug me for a bit, but I've got fairly good at not stressing over things I have no control over. At the very least though someone better buy me a cigar. Also you can request to not be informed over any use/births. Which can remove that whole question.

And the stress of them showing up on the doorstep when I'm 50? Bah, I'm retired then, be entertaining at least

The next question you can decide on which "type" of women get your sperm. By this I mean, hetero couples, lesbian couples, single heterosexual women & single lesbian women.

Now the hetro and lesbian couples I have no issues with. Using my sperm for a single woman, lesbian or straight, I did have an issue with. But then I thought about it. A single woman can use the old one-night stand, without (or dig the condom out of the trash - yes some crazy 30 something women do that, I was told by one years ago).

So then I thought about it, and if it can save a poor bloke who was just trying to get his leg over, by being tricked, that's worth a donation.

So ethically as long as I can overcome my curiousity as to not be informed as to number of people using my sperm, I'm cool with it.

Onto laziness. It's a 3-6 month committment. 6 months if you visit once a week. Once a week, I've got to troop down, jerk off into a cup, and head off. No pay for this (well you're paid for travel up to £250). If I can skive off for an hour during the working day, might be worth the effort, but otherwise, screw losing 2 hours every Saturday.

Which brings me to sex starvation issues. When donating, you are not allowed to have sex for 4 days before donating. Which means no action for 4 days before, you jerk off one day. That's 5 days of the week gone, leaving only two days for me to actually have fun with my wife....for 6 frigging months. Convicts in prison will be getting more conjugal visits than me. Bugger that. If I could donate once a month, I could live with that.

And if you shift to the 3 month cycle, that's it, no sex other than jerking off into a cup twice a week.

So, yeah I looked into it. If a sperm donation van came to the office (like the blood donation van), I'd troop down and crack one off, otherwise bugger it. Ethically it's fine and for a good cause (childless women), but my own personal laziness and selfishness kick in to override that (which is also probably a good reason my genes aren't getting passed on to 10 kids )